Sunday, June 26, 2016

Sunday Funnies 2016.06.26


It officially became summer this week (Monday, June 20 was the Summer Solstice).


I was lounging by the pool the other day when I noticed that my sun screen was better than what the old lady next to me was using. But I didn't say anything.

I didn't want to rub it in.

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X Factor: The original Roman sun cream.

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I applied for a job at a sun cream factory. I wasn't hired, but I'm going to reapply.

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Two psychics meet on the street. One says “it sure is hot this summer”.

The other says, “Yes, it reminds me of the summer of 2019″.

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“With school out, teens are looking for jobs, things like lifeguards. But L.A. public pools do not have lifeguards. We have life coaches. If they see you struggling in the water, they say, ‘Are you happy with the decisions you’re making?’ Then they give you a pamphlet for a yoga studio.” – Craig Ferguson

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When summer comes, a lot of parents pack up their troubles. Then they send them off to summer camp.

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The NBA finals are over. But the players still can't go on vacation.

They’ll get called for traveling.

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Several slices of bread went on summer vacation. They didn't do anything special. They just loafed around.

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Charles: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
Ray: Why?
Charles: To make up for his miserable summer.